Healing is Linear
Nature is never straight, yet it grows up.
We’re stuck, holding ourselves in dark clouds of self-doubt and self-loathing caused by comparison and desires for unachievable lifestyles. We cling to what little virtues we have because anything below that awakens our insecurities in places unreachable to human hands.
Curled to our side because our charging cable won’t allow us to look up. Obsorbed in the blue light instead of the glossing rays of the sun, of freedom, challenging our free will within the confines of our duvet fibres.
It’s repetitive. Artificially Natural.
But there comes a day when our eyes burn from the scorching pixels, drilling forced content down our irises. Forced subscription into a regime I never gave permission to. We stop wondering ‘what if’ and start asking ourselves ‘what if’.
Within the mindset to step out of what we’ve succumbed to, the desire to be bigger than what we currently are, the process starts. It’s small, but it is a step in the right direction. We elevate out of our beds, possessed by aspirations of the future.
We plot, plan, and research. Under the gentle glow of the moon, hidden behind thick curtains, our curves shrouded in our mattress. Truly coming to terms with what you want for yourself, to finally ask, ‘how are we going to do it?’
The creases from our smile become more prominent than the restless bags under our eyes. The bluelight still hurts, yet it scorches a new flame within us.
It takes countless dates to organise ourselves, be rid of what doesn’t serve us, and let go of what should be left to rot in the memories of our pasts. And then one day we get there.
The day comes to finally take the first step.
That momentum is all we need.
All it takes is one step to fuel the fire, keep its embers contained.
But within an enclosure, the fire has no air to breathe and eventually burns out. At this point, it’s so easy for us to look behind us and challenge going back to what was. We just stop and stare.
We wait on that level, stagnant, but never stepping down.
Going backwards means that we never learnt anything, that we negate the actions we took to get to the point where we are, to minimise our efforts because we are not where we want to be. We gaze upon where are are instead of how far we’ve come. We are not the same person that we were when we took our first step, like a child that learns to walk, they won’t stop once they know how to run. They will never again know silence once they understand how to make noises with their mouth.
Life is all about growing up. We get older, but it is our choice to become wiser for our own betterment.
We strive for better. We believe we deserve better because we understand that this ‘can’t be all life has in store for me’ and it never will be.
To be linear is a constant rate of change, no matter how small, that shift is being made within you, outside of you, in the depths of your spirit.
Even when the fire is burnt out, crackles of its remnants await to be reignited at the next opportune moment.